Leverage your fears and grow.
On Saturdays, my toddler and I like to go on outdoor adventures if the weather permits. Rarely do I have destinations in mind so we just pack snacks and go. This Saturday, we found ourselves at Hill Trail in Huntersville, NC. To my surprise, it was one of many trails within the Latta Plantation Nature Preserve. Picture my Black American self pulling up to a plantation for some outdoor fun. No, really… picture it!
Even in 2021, I think there’s a common realization, among black people in the south: there are certain places you just don’t go and especially not alone. As soon as I parked my car and before I could cut it off, anxiety showed up, with her loud mouth, tapping on my driver side window like “Hey boo! We bout to hike through this cotton field or nah?” Ironically, I’m learning to view her as a teacher, a friend… an opportunity to face my fears.
Regardless, It was a gorgeous day. Perfect weather. I didn’t feel like experiencing the eeriness and the sadness that I anticipated if I walked on the grounds of that plantation. The same grounds where enslaved black people stood, worked and could only dream of freedom. I had a choice to make. I ultimately decided not to be stopped by my feelings or self-limiting ideas. My son and I were there to explore and that’s what we were going to do. Any emotions that met me along the way, I wasn’t going to run from but to, with the intention of overcoming fear. My son and I shared a meal at a table along the trail then we hiked & ran until we were tired.
I took control of my experience and decided that it would be fruitful and productive, and maybe even beautiful, no matter how eery it may have seemed or appeared. I’m beginning to believe that even “eery” has a necessary place in life’s journey towards stepping into the fullness of who I’m becoming. As I hope you’re hearing, we had a beautiful time. Anxiety abandoned me at some point during our run. Didn’t even try to catch a ride home. My choice to run through the plantation with my son was metaphoric. It represented going into those dark places within me, accepting what I find and feel, and surrendering to what it teaches me about myself. It represented not always being in control or knowing what to expect but striving to commit to a perspective that allows me to see the experience as purposeful. That’s not always the case, but that’s always the goal.
-Ren
And by the way, I use the AllTrails app (AllTrails.com) to randomly choose a nearby trail easy enough for us to run/hike together. We’ve discovered all kinds of hidden locations using AllTrails. The app allows you to search for trails according to levels of difficulty, best views, family friendliness, etc. The best features include off route notifications, offline mapping, and real time tracking to stay connected to loved ones. (I am not sponsored by AllTrails and this is not an ad.)
-LC